What It's like when You Can't Afford Christmas Gifts for Your Family

In 2013, I wrote an article for Yahoo! about what it's like when you can't afford to buy Christmas gifts for your family. While the economy is improving, I know that many families are still hurting, so in honor of them, and the journey that I have been on these past few years, I am republishing my original post, here, on my own blog. I hope that it helps others that are struggling to know that they are not alone, and that like the old proverb says, "tough times don't last, but tough people do."

As Americans, each of us has a story of obstacles that we have overcome, it is part of our national identity I believe, and part of being human. If you have a story of a difficult Christmas that you have experienced in the past, or are experiencing now, why not share it with our readers in the comments section below?

Originally published on Yahoo, for Christmas 2012:

I lost my job of seven years a little over 20 months ago during the "Great Recession." I exhausted all of my unemployment benefits this past spring, and while I've been able to pick up some extra cash doing some freelance writing and my husband is still employed, it has been a very tough year financially. We've been struggling just to keep the lights on and keep from losing our home. Struggling to pay our bills makes it even more difficult to cope with unemployment and underemployment. There simply is not any money for Christmas gifts this year.

I know the true spirit of Christmas is not about how many gifts are under the tree, and even though my children are older and can understand, it still hurts to not be able to give them even a moderately priced gift. This year, I scoured some local used book sales and an area Goodwill to buy a few books by their favorite authors at $1 to $2 a piece to have at least something to wrap up for them, and I can't help but feel ashamed that I can't do more.

I have two beloved young nieces that I don't get see very often that I normally splurge on at Christmas, as I love to see how excited they are to unwrap their gifts from us. This year, not only will there not be gifts, we don't even have the gas money to go see them.

We've only had one other difficult Christmas that we couldn't afford gifts, back when I had cancer and my children were very young -- and a co-worker's family and friends surprised us all by adopting my children for Christmas that year. I am still grateful for their generosity, but it still hurts to be in that situation.

I know many other families are going through this same situation. I know I should be thankful my children are older and understand. I know I should be more thankful for what I do have -- but knowing this doesn't take away the pain, and the shame, that I feel at not being able to afford to do more for my family this year.

Still, despite these difficult financial circumstances, I find that I am grateful this Christmas. While there will not be any presents under our tree this year, or likely a tree at all, I am thankful for my friends and family, and the love and wisdom that they share, that makes it possible to weather this season with joy and peace in my heart. Sometimes, the best gift that you can give yourself during the holidays is simple gratitude.

Photo Credit: jpoirrier

A Debt Free Christmas – the Gift that Keeps on Giving

In the past, how many times have you blasted through your budget in order to splurge on Christmas gifts? In this past, this has been an area where I and other members of my family have been financially irresponsible, but no more! A few years ago, we were forced to take a hard look on our holiday spending when I lost my job. Out of necessity, I learned many financial lessons. Including the importance of not going in debt or otherwise excessively spending during the holidays.

A few years ago, Yahoo! asked myself and several other contributors to write about our holiday spending. The following is the article that I wrote and that they originally published. Many of these lessons remain sound, so I am republishing the article here with the hope that it will help others see that a debt free Christmas is truly the best gift that anyone can give themselves and their family.

According to a recent American Research Group, Inc. poll, Americans plan to increase their holiday spending this year with many planning to spend an average of $854 on gifts. Many will put this and other holiday expenditures on interest bearing credit cards, which will lead to increased costs. Over the years I've found that the best gift that I can give myself and my family is a debt free Christmas.

As a parent with four children, and many nieces, nephews and other important persons in my life, I've used a variety of strategies to hold down costs at Christmas. While in the past I may have splurged a little to put a much desired toy or gadget on credit that is simply not a possibility this year with the loss of my job, medical bills, and other health issues. How then am I to celebrate the season without being a Grinch?

Start Saving Early

Normally we begin saving our lose change in January to save for Christmas gifts. Our bank offers a savings program that automatically "rounds up" one's debit card transactions to whole dollars, depositing the difference into a savings account, and by the time November or December rolled around, we would have a sizeable amount to fund our Christmas purchases. This really is a great way to save in a relatively pain free way to pay for Christmas Gifts and it is my preferred way to save. This year our finances have been so strained that these funds have been used to pay day to day bills. Still, I am determined that we be able to exchange gifts in our immediate family and follow through with our annual commitment to fill a shoebox with gifts for a needy child.

Investigate True Interests

My children are older, in college, and in no real need of new gadgets or toys. In finding gifts for my children and my husband, I have been paying more attention to what things truly interest them. Most of us are avid readers, and while books can be a great gift, they are also expensive. After discovering some of their favorite authors, I've been looking for gently used copies of their books. Even many popular authors have earlier works that fans may have not read, and it can be a treat for a fan to say they have read all of the books by a certain author. Smaller, private booksellers as well as online sources such as Half and Amazon are great sources to find deals on pre-owned books.

Earn and Redeem Points and Use Coupons, Discounts and Sales

Others in my family enjoy gourmet coffees and teas, specialty bath products, or chocolate goodies. I've been redeeming points that I have earned from regular purchases for gift cards at some of their favorite retailers and combining them with the sale prices these retailers are offering this holiday. Many bank cards offer points for purchases, and there are other companies that offer points for reading emails or participating in limited free trials of services. My favorites are the rewards points program at Kmart and Sears as well as the MyPoints program, but there are many other points programs available that you can find by doing a simple online search for "earning points."

Homemade Shows Love and Can be Frugal

I've also been using common items and ingredients I have around the house to make some simple homemade beauty and bath products. You can find detailed instructions on how to make many different types of facial scrubs, beauty bars, bath melts, bath salts, lotions and more by doing a simple search online. You can find decorative containers at a local discount store or save some from your favorite products through the year. I make several of each type and put them in a simple basket from a discount store and garnish with a bow. I also make treat bags and fill them with homemade cookies and breads and cakes for my older relatives that I bake ahead and freeze earlier in the month.

Using these strategies, my Christmas shopping is done for my immediate family, nieces, nephews, in-laws, aunts and uncles. I have spent around $50 in cash; the rest has been gift cards and time. As little as we get to see each other through the year, I hope that the focus this Christmas will be on time rather than money.

What about your family? Are you going to splurge and go in debt or spend your savings on lavish presents for your loved ones this season? Why not share with our readers in the comments section below your shopping plans, and strategies that you follow to keep on track with your budget during the holidays. 

Photo Credit: Alan Cleaver