What It's like when You Can't Afford Christmas Gifts for Your Family

In 2013, I wrote an article for Yahoo! about what it's like when you can't afford to buy Christmas gifts for your family. While the economy is improving, I know that many families are still hurting, so in honor of them, and the journey that I have been on these past few years, I am republishing my original post, here, on my own blog. I hope that it helps others that are struggling to know that they are not alone, and that like the old proverb says, "tough times don't last, but tough people do."

As Americans, each of us has a story of obstacles that we have overcome, it is part of our national identity I believe, and part of being human. If you have a story of a difficult Christmas that you have experienced in the past, or are experiencing now, why not share it with our readers in the comments section below?

Originally published on Yahoo, for Christmas 2012:

I lost my job of seven years a little over 20 months ago during the "Great Recession." I exhausted all of my unemployment benefits this past spring, and while I've been able to pick up some extra cash doing some freelance writing and my husband is still employed, it has been a very tough year financially. We've been struggling just to keep the lights on and keep from losing our home. Struggling to pay our bills makes it even more difficult to cope with unemployment and underemployment. There simply is not any money for Christmas gifts this year.

I know the true spirit of Christmas is not about how many gifts are under the tree, and even though my children are older and can understand, it still hurts to not be able to give them even a moderately priced gift. This year, I scoured some local used book sales and an area Goodwill to buy a few books by their favorite authors at $1 to $2 a piece to have at least something to wrap up for them, and I can't help but feel ashamed that I can't do more.

I have two beloved young nieces that I don't get see very often that I normally splurge on at Christmas, as I love to see how excited they are to unwrap their gifts from us. This year, not only will there not be gifts, we don't even have the gas money to go see them.

We've only had one other difficult Christmas that we couldn't afford gifts, back when I had cancer and my children were very young -- and a co-worker's family and friends surprised us all by adopting my children for Christmas that year. I am still grateful for their generosity, but it still hurts to be in that situation.

I know many other families are going through this same situation. I know I should be thankful my children are older and understand. I know I should be more thankful for what I do have -- but knowing this doesn't take away the pain, and the shame, that I feel at not being able to afford to do more for my family this year.

Still, despite these difficult financial circumstances, I find that I am grateful this Christmas. While there will not be any presents under our tree this year, or likely a tree at all, I am thankful for my friends and family, and the love and wisdom that they share, that makes it possible to weather this season with joy and peace in my heart. Sometimes, the best gift that you can give yourself during the holidays is simple gratitude.

Photo Credit: jpoirrier

How I Learned to Cope with Unemployment

Bread Line During the Great Depression 

While the economy has improved since the "Great Recession" began in 2008, millions of Americans are still unemployed or underemployed. Continue reading to learn more about how one contributor learned to cope with unemployment.

By Lyn Brooks, Contributor

In July of this year, the official unemployment rate hovered around 6.2%, but a new study conducted at Princeton University and released this August indicates that the true unemployment rate has been vastly understated by at least 1 1/2 to 2 full percentage points. Regardless of the actual unemployment rate, millions of Americans want to work but still can't find a job. Millions more are only working part time, or at a reduced rate of pay, so most folks are still facing challenging financial circumstances and learning how to cope with unemployment.

On "April Fool's Day" of 2011, I joined the millions of Americans who were fired in "The Great Recession." For the next two years, I submitted resumes, posted on job search sites, and notified every friend, acquaintance and family member that I was searching for a job, and received no job offers. It was hard to not become discouraged with results like that.

To me, the biggest challenge that I faced during that time was how to cope with unemployment. Suddenly, I had all of this unstructured time on my hands. It was so easy to fall into the trap of obsessing about being unemployed and turning to self-destructive behaviors such as over-eating and social withdrawal. The following are some activities that helped me to cope while I was unemployed, and I continue many of these practices today whenever I feel a bit stressed or pressured as a small business owner.

Walking

When I started to feel stressed out, I went for long walks. It's an activity that is free, burns calories, and can be done virtually anywhere. I live in a scenic town with walking trails; there are many parks and shopping malls nearby. When I can, I invite a friend to go with me, so I can combine socializing and walking. This is my number one activity to cope with the stress and anxiety that I felt about being unemployed.

Complete the "Honey-Do" List

Remember all of those household tasks that we all put off when employed because we don't feel we have "time" to do them? When I started to stress I looked around the house and completed one of those tasks. After becoming unemployed I now had time to clean out the garage and attic, and repaint the windows. Completing these long neglected tasks helped renew my sense of self-worth. I also earned some much needed cash and reclaimed space from selling the unused items that I "found" when I cleaned.

Volunteer

Soon after becoming unemployed, I began volunteering at my local nursing home. I helped the staff with sorting items that are used as prizes for Bingo night, and I spent time sitting with various residents and listening to them. There are so many people in assisted living that are cheered up by having the presence of someone that listens. This activity didn't cost me anything and I learned so much from listening to them.

Whenever I feel depressed about my circumstances, I just think about some of the stories I have heard from people who have actually lived through the Great Depression and World War II, and I feel both encouraged and thankful. Working with the elderly is not for everyone, but there are food banks, homeless shelters, local schools, libraries and many other organizations that need volunteers. If you find that you have too much time on your hands, consider volunteering for a local organization. You will diversify your resume, gain valuable insight, and enjoy yourself in the process.

Hobbies

Have a secret passion or talent that you've never had time to fully express when you were employed? Why not spend your time doing something you enjoy? Brush up on your artistic endeavors, complete some craft projects, and finish that novel you always wanted to write. You will not only get a sense of accomplishment and joy; you may find a way to turn a profit by turning your hobby into self-employment.

I have always enjoyed writing, so when I couldn't find a new employer, I began earning money on the side as a part-time Internet blogger. Over time, I was able to grow this hobby into a successful small business providing editing and copywriting services to B2B clients.

Some friends of mine pick up cash by selling hand-made jewelry and giving music lessons. One friend of mine has turned his passion for fitness into a business. For two hours each night he hosts a "Body Boot Camp" in our local park. People actually pay him to show them how to exercise. He now earns more money each month as a personal trainer than he did as a business executive.

The important thing to remember is that the ending of your job is not the end of your life. As the old saying goes, there is "opportunity in crisis" and we can all get through difficult times when we find positive ways to cope with the stress and anxiety in our lives. 

By finding ways to cope with stress and keep a positive attitude, losing my job ended up being one of the best experiences of my life, because it forced me to take a chance on my talents and work for myself by starting my own small business. Now, I actually make more money than I ever did working for someone else, and I am doing work that I am passionate about and that is meaningful to me. 

Photo Credit: buckle1535